


Die For You

by sea_murai



Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence, Crying, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, I will tear your heart apart and then put it back together again, It gets really angsty before it gets fluffy but I promise you it's worth it, Johnny gets a body, Post-Canon Fix-It, Temporary Amnesia, cloning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-11
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29344245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sea_murai/pseuds/sea_murai
Summary: Everything she had done in the past two months brought her here, to this very moment. Every second spent watching over people she wanted no involvement with, every draining meeting with the Arasaka board to testify, every ounce of her own dignity sold. Every droplet of spilt blood, every tear, every moment of emptiness in her head and soul that almost broke her to pieces.It was happening. She was getting Johnny back.In which V (Viola) did what she had to do to have Johnny in her life again.
Relationships: Johnny Silverhand/Female V, Johnny Silverhand/V
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Die For You

**Author's Note:**

> Hello folks! 
> 
> This was supposed to be a quick drabble but it turned into a full-blown, 4k long fic and I have no regrets. 
> 
> As always, this is based on my V OC, Viola. You can find more information about here on my [tumblr](https://sea-murai.tumblr.com)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this piece!
> 
> Title is after Die For You by The Weeknd.

Viola's head was spinning.

Everything she had done in the past two months brought her here, to this very moment. Every second spent watching over people she wanted no involvement with, every draining meeting with the Arasaka board to testify, every ounce of her own dignity sold. Every droplet of spilt blood, every tear, every moment of emptiness in her head and soul that almost broke her to pieces. 

It was happening. She was getting Johnny back.

V was lucky Hanako needed her so much she was willing to look past what she and the Aldelcados did to Arasaka Tower and to Smasher. What V asked of her was quite frankly absurd. Using Johnny’s DNA sample they kept to clone him and then installing the biochip Alt transferred his personality onto again — which she also stole from Arasaka — because she couldn’t live without him; she didn’t _want_ to live in a world without him. And Hanako agreed to cut another deal with V, not because she wanted to, but because she was desperate to live as much as V was desperate for Johnny to live.

It came with an expensive price, but V didn’t mind. She would have paid with her own soul if she had to. Two months and a half of sleepless nights, skipped meals and drinking caffeine and even taking pills to keep her awake. Her head pounded harder with each day, sometimes enough to make her see black spots on her vision, and she had more scars to account for in a short period of time than she ever had in her life. They weren’t all physical, though. Most of them were inside.

V had never felt so devastatingly empty before. It gnawed on her insides, broadening the gaping hole Johnny had left her with. Yes, she had always been terrible at keeping meaningful relationships, but nothing compared to how she felt without _him_. She still called out for him out of habit often, far more than she should; when her vision darkened and she thought her time had come, she desperately sought his comfort. And every time she didn’t get an answer, she’d break down and cry. 

She missed her friends too. She couldn’t risk telling them where she was or what she was doing, so she just went M.I.A. Aside from Panam, she barely answered texts and calls, telling people she was busy. Judy was a hurt, and she made sure to let V know, but she was also an angel and wouldn’t hold a grudge against V. Mama Wells began leaving concerned messages on a weekly basis, while Vik told her to look out for her health. Kerry simply kept leaving voicemails from time to time with gossip from the music industry. V had a sneaking suspicion he knew she had a plan. Even Misty still left messages with weekly tarot readings and daily horoscope. And the ones that were nothing but mere acquaintances or fixers that had the audacity to bitch made her tired and angry. River, Wakako, crazy Lizzy Whizzy. She just started blocking contacts after she had her share of demanding, borderline rude texts.

At least she had the comfort of listening to Panam’s voice every now and then. She wouldn’t keep her best friend in the dark, so she gave Panam as much information as she could without giving too much away, and she understood. 

It was her number that remained on speed dial at all times, and it was she who listened to V cry through the holo, offering comfort and keeping questions to herself. No one besides Panam saw what happened after Mikoshi. How V gasped as she came to her senses, desperately calling out for Johnny and rushing Panam to take the biochip and stick it in the cryo case. How she broke down in sobs in her Panam’s arms because she had sixth months to find herself a cure and even less to bring Johnny back. 

Now that it was all finally coming together, she was terrified. The chances of failure were slim, but not completely nonexistent. She didn’t want to so much as think about it not working. It _had_ to work. 

Moving on without Johnny wasn’t an option.

She was terrified of what he would think too. The whole working with fucking _Arasaka_ felt a betrayal, like going behind his back and spitting on all that she learnt from him. Made her sick to the stomach, but she didn’t have a choice. She just hoped he wouldn’t hate her for it.

‘V?’, a voice drew her out of her thoughts. When she looked up, Hanako was by the door, her expression indecipherable. ‘May I speak with you for a moment?’.

V’s eyes darted anxiously to the pod that held Johnny’s body, where his engram was slowly being uploaded. Kerry sat on a chair not very far from it, feet swinging to the side and throat humming lyrics to a song, while Rogue had her back rested against a wall in the corner.

‘Go on, V. We’ll shout if anything happens’, Rogue spoke from her spot in the furthest corner of the room. V couldn’t quite read her expression — both because she was exhausted and because Rogue was hard to read —, but the reassuring smile that followed was enough to get her legs working. 

On her way to the door, she passed by Kerry, who grabbed her hand and gave it a light squeeze before letting go. 

Hanako greeted her with a reserved smile.

‘Come with me. And before you ask, Silverhand is fine. All is going according to plan’.

V nodded and followed Hanako into another room.

It looked just as plain and boring as the one they were keeping Johnny in. White walls that looked bright enough to be breaking some sort of crime, scientific equipment and shelves filled to the brim with chemical products, wires running from inside the floors. 

But it was the person standing in the middle of the room that caught her attention.

‘Goro! Good to see you’, V smiled, genuinely smiled. 

She hadn’t heard much from him since the hotel.

‘Good to see you too, V’, he stepped forward, greeting the young woman with a formal nod.

Hanako stepped around V and came to stand next to Takemura. 

‘V, we wanted to thank you for all you did for Arasaka’, Hanako was the first to speak. ‘Not only you aided me in proving my brother’s guilt, you also saved my life. The debt I acquired with you is invaluable. Therefore, I want to ask you not to hesitate to ask Arasaka for help if you ever require it. We will take care of you, V. It is the least I can offer.’

V used what little energy she had left to lock her expression impassive. She couldn’t give two shits about Arasaka. If the fucking place exploded the next morning she’d probably consider it a victory and forget about it by nightfall. She helped Hanako out of pure selfishness. Sure, she grew to learn Hanako wasn’t nearly as bad as she originally believed her to be; with the amount of time they spent together, it wasn’t a surprise. And sure, V had grown to like Hanako a little bit in the process too, but she preferred not to ask the Devil for help again.

And there was also the virus Alt sneaked into their system that would destroy Mikoshi a few months from now. She kept quiet about that when she first came to Hanako and she was certainly keeping quiet about it now. 

Their problem, not hers.

‘I would like to add we will not bother Silverhand’, she continued. ‘Given he does not try to blow my company to pieces again, that is’.

Takemura came forward next. Arms behind his back and head held high, he looked much better than what V was used to seeing of him. Crisp, clean white suit and a face clean of dirt and dust.

‘V, Saburo has been avenged because of you, and you saved my life. For that I am also indebted to you,’ said the man. He brought his hands forward, placed a sheathed katana on his open palms and offered it to V, bowing slightly.

‘Please accept this as an offer of my gratitude’.

Surprise was written all over V’s face as she stepped forward and took the katana. The sheath was the colour of scarlet, with grey and gold details encrusted from top to bottom. When she unsheathed it, the blade highlighted her face in beautiful red. It was craftsmanship of the finest, probably the nicest sword she had ever laid her eyes and her hands on.

‘Goro, I can’t take this’, V argued, unable to draw her eyes away from the shimmering scarlet of the blade.

‘It is not up for discussion, V’.

‘Thank you’, she smiled a little, sheathing the katana once again and pulling her arm and head through the rope that would strap it to her back. ‘Both of you’.

Hanako replied with a nod.

‘Now go. There’s someone waiting for you’.

V returned to the lab room, katana strapped to her back and Hanako’s words weighing on her shoulders. _We will take care of you, V. It is the least I can offer_. Hanako was different, sure, but she wouldn’t go as far as calling her a friend - more like an unconventional ally she didn’t really want to have. 

Rogue raised a questioning eyebrow at V but didn’t move from the wall. Kerry acknowledged her with a nod, rocking the chair he occupied back and forth nonstop. His fingers strummed nervously on his thigh.

If they thought poorly of her for working with Arasaka, they had the kindness not to comment on it. She, on the other hand, hoped they understood why.

Her heart threatened to burst out of her chest with how fast it beat. _Thump, thump, thump_ echoed in her head like a heavy bass, increasing the discomfort her headache brought. Hands fiddled with the zipper of Johnny’s jacket, then pinched at the exposed skin of her arms, and then nails broke the skin of the palms of her hands. Body rocked back and forth on the heels of heavy boots, teeth gnawed at the inside of her cheek and her bottom lip, but nothing eased her nerves. 

When black spots began dancing her vision away, all she could mutter in her mind was a mantra of no, no, no and not now. Her eyes fluttered shut, hands came to press at the sides of her head and she breathed slowly through her nose and out through her mouth. The sounds she heard were vague and faded, like music playing behind the shut door of a room at the end of a long corridor.

In the distance, her name was called and a hand came to wrap at her arm, but it was all faint. She could barely feel it. 

It took a few moments, but her head stopped dancing and spinning. The pressure and pain were still there, but when she slowly opened her eyes, the world wasn’t twirling anymore.

‘V? You good?’, a concerned Kerry asked. 

Rogue stood in front of her, eyebrows knitted together. Her hand held onto V’s arm to help stabilise her.

‘Preem’.

The lie that automatically slipped from her lips was nothing short of unconvincing, she knew, but the strength required to be persuasive in her words was something she lacked at the moment. 

‘It’s not me you two should be worryin’ about now’, added the young woman before they could press her further. There was no way she was making today about herself.

‘The upload is complete’, the scientist - Anna, V was almost certain - called out to them. ‘But I must warn you, it might take a few minutes for his memories from 2077 to come back’.

All eyes simultaneously turned to V. They watched her like she was porcelain dangling dangerously on the edge of the cupboard, ready to slip and shatter at any moment. She felt exposed by how she was wearing her heart on her sleeve because the energy to hide it all was gone. 

A part of her cracked like fragile glass at the idea of Johnny not remembering who she was, even if it was temporary. It tied a knot around her throat which she dutifully swallowed, determined to focus on _might/ _and not _will_. He _would_ remember her, he _had_ to. In a few minutes, he’d open his eyes, lay those beautiful brown eyes on her and hopefully he wouldn’t hate her for teaming up with Arasaka. __

___It’s going to be okay_ , she repeated in her mind. It was all she could do to keep going._ _

__V masked her fears and ignored the sensation of anxiety compressing her lungs and responded:_ _

__‘That’s fine. Rogue, Kerry, you talk to him first just in case’, and by some miracle, her voice didn’t waver at all. A win._ _

__V dragged her feet to a corner without waiting for a response. Anxious fingers crawled up her chest, grabbing Johnny’s dog tags and fidgeting with them. Her heartbeat, strong and out of step, pulsed under her hand. She tried slowly exhaling through her nose, while her silver eyes climbed downwards to her shoes._ _

__She didn’t look up when a sizzle indicated the pod opening. She didn’t look up when a doctor came in and began asking Johnny questions — his name, his age, if he knew where he was, what year he was living in -, and her heart leapt when he spoke, but she couldn’t look up yet. She couldn’t face the despise and betrayal that would follow once he realised why he woke up in Arasaka._ _

__‘This some kind of joke? The fuck am I doing in Arasaka?’, Johnny was angry, that was plain to see. But V knew him; knew all his quirks and all the different ways his voice changed according to his emotions. The confusion behind the anger was something she could clearly hear too._ _

__She exhaled shakily but didn’t move._ _

__‘Calm down, this isn’t some sort of elaborate plot to fuck with you, Johnny. V did what she had to do to get you back’, that was Rogue._ _

__V perked up at the mention of her name._ _

__‘V? The fuck is a V?’._ _

___The fuck is a V?_ _ _

__V’s stomach dropped. Not _who’s_ V, not _I don’t know V_ , but _what_. The words played on repeat in her head, a broken disco of the gruff voice she missed dearly chanting nightmares that haunted her more than many tragic memories did over and over and over again._ _

__It was suffocating._ _

__The bubble in her throat was impossible to swallow, the knot in her chest resembled the strength of industrial rope — the more you pull, the tighter it gets —, and her limbs felt numb, heavy, like they were made of rocks. Unshed tears pricked her vision, burning her eyes like acid and making it so V couldn’t see an inch in front of her._ _

__She needed to get out._ _

__V unglued her back from the wall and began walking, head held high. She wouldn’t cry in front of them. Her quivering legs were practically guiding themselves towards the exit, led by motivation with an unknown origin. The calls and pleas for her name fell unacknowledged to her ears._ _

__The first tears fell the minute the double glass doors shut behind her, but she stubbornly wiped them away and kept walking as fast as her legs could take her. Her chest was shut so tightly she was quietly gasping for air and she couldn’t see where her feet were taking her. Her shoulder clashed with at least two people in her haste to get away, but she lacked the strength to mutter a single apology._ _

__She had no willpower to wipe the tears that followed. They cascaded down her cheeks and down her neck, made her eyes burn and her throat constrict and she heard nothing but the _thump, thump, thump_ of her heart hammering against the chest and Johnny’s voice on her head over and over and over again until it felt her brain was about to explode._ _

__It wouldn’t cease. Not when she blindly entered an empty room she didn’t bother to check what it was for; not when her body slid against the wall because she couldn’t hold herself together anymore; not when her knees came to hug at her chest and she buried her head in them and her entire body trembled with the force of her tears; not even when her broken sobs echoed in the white infinity she was surrounded by._ _

__She tried to stop. Tried to swallow the ball in her throat, even her laboured breathing and stop her body from shaking with each sob, but she couldn’t. The tears just kept coming; they dripped off her eyes and onto her hands and clothes, made her black eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara trickle down an irregular path down her cheeks and stain her soft skin. They made her gasp for air that refused to reach her clogged lungs, made her dig her nails onto the palms of her hands so hard it pierced skin just so she could feel anything but utter heartbreak._ _

__V wrapped her arms around her midsection and kept her forehead resting on her knees, nails now digging onto her arms as she let it all out. Johnny was a mere few steps away and she couldn’t have him because he didn’t remember._ _

__She lost count of how long she spent on the floor, sobbing her heart and eyes out. Her head pounded and her body grew weaker with each tear that she spilt._ _

__She was _exhausted_._ _

__Two months without Johnny felt like a lifetime._ _

__Nights that were once filled with his gruff, melodic voice lulling her to sleep with sweet songs were reduced to tossing and turning and nightmares whenever she did manage to close her eyes. The passenger seat of the cars she drove was always painfully empty, and the snarky remarks that had her rolling her eyes on a daily basis had become nothing but memories she desperately clung to, going as far as attempting to picture what he’d say in situations she knew he’d have something to say. He wasn’t there to boss and bug her into eating and resting when she was on the brink of collapse anymore, wasn’t there to hold her when she did indeed collapse. And now it was all within reach of her fingertips, except it wasn’t and she was sure she couldn’t take another minute-_ _

‘V? V. Viola, breathe’.

A pair of large hands gently gripped at her shoulders, shaking lightly. That and the mention to her real name broke her trail of thought. The voice that came with it was the very one she craved so desperately to hear since Mikoshi. The same voice she sold herself for just to listen to it again, and this time there wasn’t an ounce of confusion when saying her name — nickname or otherwise.

She looked up so quickly her top of her head almost clashed with his nose, and he chuckled a little. The sound filled her ears like her favourite music never did.

V couldn’t see anything behind the blurry curtain of liquid sorrow that had allocated itself on her grey eyes. She hastily wiped them away, willing herself to hold new ones that threatened to spill and _finally_ managed to lay her eyes on _him_.

__Johnny looked different, but at the same time, he looked the same._ _

__Same fluffy, shoulder-length dark brown hair; same brown eyes that could carry mischief and cynism as much as they could carry a softness reserved only for V; same strong eyebrows and nose, thin lips and dark beard that felt scratchy under her skin. He was wearing the clothes she brought him, the ones she was used to seeing him in: leather pants, samurai tank top, boots. Minus his dog tags and jacket, which she had.  
The only exception was the lack of a silver arm, a problem they’d solve with Vik later if he wanted to._ _

__In the physical aspect, he looked essentially the same._ _

__But there was _something_ about him that V hadn’t seen before - or if she had, she hadn’t noticed. Maybe it was the fact he wasn’t glitching anymore. Or perhaps it was the way he was staring at her; like she was the one who hung the moon and stars on the night sky. _ _

__No, it was probably just the absence of glitching that was different about him. There’s no way it could be related to anything else - or so she told herself._ _

__She didn’t realise she was crying again until his now soft hands gently cupped her cheeks, thumbs brushing away stubborn tears that cascade despite her attempts at keeping them at bay._ _

__‘This your way of sayin’ you can’t live without me?’, Johnny’s lips curled in that signature smirk of his she missed._ _

__V’s bottom lip quivered, eyes brimming with new tears as she stared at the pools of brown that were his eyes. She wanted to throw some sass at him, tell him he was a prick and that Arasaka couldn’t clone that smirk out of him even if they had alien tech; banter like they usually would, but the words were stuck in her throat. Formulating coherent thoughts and snarky remarks was impossible with the wave of relief that threatened to overwhelm her in that moment._ _

__She didn’t even try to stop herself from crashing into him, arms wrapping around his neck, nose burying in the crook of his neck too. The tears kept coming. They soaked his skin now too, and when he wrapped an arm around her waist and the other one climbed to her hair, she cried even harder._ _

__Gone were what she thought were endless sleepless nights; gone was calling out for him and receiving a roaring silence in response, gone was overbearing loneliness that threatened to engulf any light she had left._ _

__Still, she couldn’t help but wonder if a part of him, small as it may be, hated her for what she did to bring him back. The mere possibility that those thoughts held some level of truth to them even in the slightest was enough to turn her happy tears into fearful ones._ _

__‘Fore you ask, I don’t hate you, V. Could never hate you. You did what you had to do and ‘cause of it I’m here. So stop thinkin’ bout that bullshit’._ _

__V’s tense muscles relaxed against him, and a relieved sob escaped her throat._ _

__‘Sides, I remember the shit Alt planted deep within their system. A few more months and it will blow up Mikoshi to hell’, this he practically whispered against her ear. His beard tickled her skin, another gentle reminder to V she wasn’t dreaming._ _

__She laughed shakily against his neck, tightening her hold around his neck just a little tighter._ _

__‘I have something for you’, V broke the comfortable silence that had situated between them. Her voice was weak and hoarse from crying, the smudged, dried out makeup on her face brought a slight discomfort and her eyelids were heavy with weight from ghost tears that were no longer there — she genuinely believed she had run out of them — but that was nothing compared to how complete she felt, held by his arms._ _

__‘Hmm? What?’, asked Johnny. His cheek, resting on the side of her head, moved against her skin. as he spoke in a weirdly pleasant way. Perhaps it was just because she never thought they’d ever get to touch like this and it would be _real_._ _

__‘Right pocket of my - your - jacket’._ _

__The chuckle he emitted upon listening to V call his jacket hers reverberated against her. Immediately she missed the way his fingers were carding through her hair, but she kept quiet as they crept into the pocket of his jacket. She knew he knew what it was before he got so much as glanced at it. Johnny stood frozen for a good five seconds; the only indicator of his awareness was his left thumb brushing never-ending circles against the skin of her waist._ _

__Johnny exhaled deeply as he brought the necklace out. From the corner of her eye, she could see he rested it against his palm, staring at it like it was the most precious object he ever laid his hands on._ _

__‘Oh, V’, said Johnny, voice thick with melancholy and joy and something else she couldn’t quite get a hold on._ _

__She wasn’t exactly a master of expressing her feelings through her words, but she knew that was something she had no need to concern herself with when it came to him. He could read her like no else could, even when he wasn’t trying; and right now, she knew he knew she wanted him to have a piece of her to take with him at all times, just like she had a piece of him hanging around her neck._ _

__Without letting go of V, Johnny put the chain around his head. She helped him adjust it, and the entire time they didn’t move away a single inch from each other._ _

__She couldn’t remember the last time she felt at peace. It all seemed so distant, blurred out by fatigue and an emotional cargo filled with tons of pain that she had been carrying on her back these past few months. But now, in that empty Arasaka lab, wrapped around Johnny, she felt more like herself than she ever had._ _

__His soft lips pressed gently against her browbone, then moved upwards and kissed the top of her head. His right hand came to run its fingers through her silky, jet black strands again, and she smiled._ _

__‘I’m not going anywhere, V. I got you’._ _


End file.
